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My younger son, Agrim inherited from me - performance anxiety and fear of public humiliation. He always wants to put up best of the performance. When he was in Nursery class, he had four subjects - Maths, English, Hindi and Drawing. Agrim just could not draw or fill colours properly. He did not like doing drawing. His teacher never reprimanded him for not completing his drawing H.W, as he was very good at the other three subjects. I, a busy army officer, teaching drawing to my son was never on my list.
On his final assessment, the three 'good' subjects’ sheets (Maths, English and Hindi) were answered all correct, making him score full marks in each. Last day was his Drawing Test. On the eve of the dreadful test he came to me and said, “mamma teach me how to draw a mango and a brinjal." His teacher had simplified the test by telling the children what would be asked in the paper! I tried teaching him but he kept telling me, “I can't draw". I assured him, "don't worry, no one will scold you for it. Draw any shape you can or else just leave it." He though took my advice and went off to sleep but he kept thinking of public humiliation if at all his class teacher would laugh at his awkward drawing.
The Drawing exam was over and I did not check with him if he could draw the fruit or the vegetable. He appeared happy. I could not reason out his contentment.
A week later the results were out, we parents were sitting in Nursery classroom awaiting our tiny tots' final result to be handed over to us. The teacher gave out the first name - Agrim- he stood first in the class! As I approached with Agrim towards the teacher's table craning my neck in pride, I heard the teacher say, " Agrim is a very bright child but because of his Drawing he was not able to score good overall marks. But I am so glad that he made such a fantastic drawing this time that I could not stop from giving him full marks." She was holding Agrim's drawing sheet in her hand displaying fondly to all the twenty five pair of parents sitting in the classroom. My craned neck slouched and my eyes turned big. I stared at the sheet. No it can't be. Agrim can never draw such a beautiful mango with all the colours neatly within the boundary line. I turned my head towards Agrim. He was looking a little uneasy . Without looking at the class teacher who was still beaming with fondness for her favourite pupil, Agrim, I sternly asked, "Agrim did you draw this?" Agrim began looking down. The teacher intervened, "Mrs Srivastava of course he only drew this. Why are you questioning him like this?" The other parents began to whisper. I did not pay attention to the teacher's question. I kept looking at Agrim , demanding an honest answer. I very well knew it was not his work. After all a mother knows her child best. Agrim understood my tone. He softly said, " I did not draw this mango. Aditya who sits next to me in the class has drawn this". The teacher was shocked. The parents were feeling restless - their child could have come first in the class. I was feeling proud of my four year old son - he just showed what it takes to accept one's mistake and be honest in public even though it can jeopardise one's position in the eyes of so many.
My younger son, Agrim inherited from me - performance anxiety and fear of public humiliation. He always wants to put up best of the performance. When he was in Nursery class, he had four subjects - Maths, English, Hindi and Drawing. Agrim just could not draw or fill colours properly. He did not like doing drawing. His teacher never reprimanded him for not completing his drawing H.W, as he was very good at the other three subjects. I, a busy army officer, teaching drawing to my son was never on my list.
On his final assessment, the three 'good' subjects’ sheets (Maths, English and Hindi) were answered all correct, making him score full marks in each. Last day was his Drawing Test. On the eve of the dreadful test he came to me and said, “mamma teach me how to draw a mango and a brinjal." His teacher had simplified the test by telling the children what would be asked in the paper! I tried teaching him but he kept telling me, “I can't draw". I assured him, "don't worry, no one will scold you for it. Draw any shape you can or else just leave it." He though took my advice and went off to sleep but he kept thinking of public humiliation if at all his class teacher would laugh at his awkward drawing.
The Drawing exam was over and I did not check with him if he could draw the fruit or the vegetable. He appeared happy. I could not reason out his contentment.
A week later the results were out, we parents were sitting in Nursery classroom awaiting our tiny tots' final result to be handed over to us. The teacher gave out the first name - Agrim- he stood first in the class! As I approached with Agrim towards the teacher's table craning my neck in pride, I heard the teacher say, " Agrim is a very bright child but because of his Drawing he was not able to score good overall marks. But I am so glad that he made such a fantastic drawing this time that I could not stop from giving him full marks." She was holding Agrim's drawing sheet in her hand displaying fondly to all the twenty five pair of parents sitting in the classroom. My craned neck slouched and my eyes turned big. I stared at the sheet. No it can't be. Agrim can never draw such a beautiful mango with all the colours neatly within the boundary line. I turned my head towards Agrim. He was looking a little uneasy . Without looking at the class teacher who was still beaming with fondness for her favourite pupil, Agrim, I sternly asked, "Agrim did you draw this?" Agrim began looking down. The teacher intervened, "Mrs Srivastava of course he only drew this. Why are you questioning him like this?" The other parents began to whisper. I did not pay attention to the teacher's question. I kept looking at Agrim , demanding an honest answer. I very well knew it was not his work. After all a mother knows her child best. Agrim understood my tone. He softly said, " I did not draw this mango. Aditya who sits next to me in the class has drawn this". The teacher was shocked. The parents were feeling restless - their child could have come first in the class. I was feeling proud of my four year old son - he just showed what it takes to accept one's mistake and be honest in public even though it can jeopardise one's position in the eyes of so many.
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